As I was preparing for my return to Sudan in 2003, I had mixed emotions. I was filled with excitement, intrigue and curiosity, yet I was also a little afraid. I had heard one too many stories from my Sudanese high school friends about women who got lashed for wearing pants (and in some scenarios the women got beaten and raped by the police). Of course I had no idea how authentic these stories were, but given I was about to embark into a new journey in a country I was pretty much alien to, it was best to arrange for my conformation process. I bought a wardrobe full of new clothes–which mainly consisted of long sleeve shirts, long skirts and huge scarfs. I also stocked up on body cream, shampoo, deodorant, hair cream, perfume and other beauty products which I was led to believe were unavailable in Sudan due to the embargo. [I had later on learned that everything was available at the McNimir pharmacy and a tiny little shop in Riyad called Oxygen–but more on that later.]
I packed my bags and headed to the airport with my entire family–a custom that until this day exists in my family and in every other family that considers itself Sudanese. My mom gave me the most dramatic goodbye; she hugged me for what felt like hours and for some reason I had a sinking feeling that this was the end for me and that I was never going to see my family again. [I was sooner proved wrong because after spending only four months in Sudan I hopped on the first plane back to UAE where again, my whole family was waiting for me at the airport.]
I made it to Khartoum, and though I had lived in one of the most humid cities in the world almost all of my life, I felt death was near after being attacked by a blast of hot air upon stepping out of the airplane. At the airport it seemed like everyone was looking at me funny… and that’s when I realized my tar7a wasn’t on my head and quickly put it back over my head to avoid dirty looks. [Believe it or not, eight years ago it was even worse than it is now.]
I enrolled at what was deemed as an English-medium university; after which I quickly learned it was just figurative speech–what they had really meant but failed to deliver was that the exams were in English (English that was riddled with grammatical and spelling mistakes, but English nonetheless). The language spoken, however, was an interesting breed between English, Sudanese Arabic and a hint of Indian English for some reason. During my five years there, most of my professors had poor English and often said stuff like ‘oben za light’, ‘iggzil sheet’, and ‘home wairk’. I made great friends who taught me the secrets of the shoulder-tar7a… which basically meant I didn’t have to wear the tar7a over my head as long as it was there resting comfortably on my shoulders. To me, this was like finding gold.
(to be continued)
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Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Sudan, I love you.. but you're taking a toll on me [1]
I remember eight years ago when I made the decision to return to Sudan to pursue my college education. My experience with living in Sudan was limited to a 2-month summer vacation almost every year, where visiting the neighbors was as close to being wild and adventurous as I could get. Still, during my childhood years I was fascinated and intrigued by what “Sudan” was; that marvelous, vast and dirt-infested country, home to many rakshas, Ethiopians and amputees that until recently was the largest country in Africa. I constantly bombarded my parents with endless questions about our culture and history, and essentially bored them with my infinite gibberish which I considered as 'ideas to improve Sudan'.
Spending weeks every summer with my family at the big house AKA the housh, I wondered if there was more to Sudan than the family gatherings, social visits, weddings and funerals, feasts and food trays, flavored tea and jabana, mint candy and dandurma, tiny crystal balls of billy for kids, captain Majid biscuits and jersey chocolates, glass-bottled pepsi, resident cats, stray dogs and goats… the list could go on. I loved these things and often marveled at them (except for the funerals of course, that would be just weird), but as I grew up I couldn’t help but question if there was another Sudanese realm which I had no access to.
I wanted to know everything about everything… why did most of the neighbors splash their stinking sewer water on the street? If al-Jack was Sudanese then why does he look so different and why is he ironing our clothes, also what’s up with his name? Why does my grandmother’s face look so weird and missing a significant amount of skin, and why is her lower lip dark blue? Why are the roads filled with so much dirt? Why does the power keep going off for hours everyday? Why is having running water everyday considered a luxury? Why do random people keep asking me about my tribe? Why aren’t my female cousins allowed to wear pants? What’s that smelly black stuff my uncle rolls up in a ball and probably swallows? Why is there no air conditioning or telephones? Why is it so freaking hot?
It took me some time to figure out some of the answers, and funnily enough, a decade later I still muse about the rest…
(to be continued)
Spending weeks every summer with my family at the big house AKA the housh, I wondered if there was more to Sudan than the family gatherings, social visits, weddings and funerals, feasts and food trays, flavored tea and jabana, mint candy and dandurma, tiny crystal balls of billy for kids, captain Majid biscuits and jersey chocolates, glass-bottled pepsi, resident cats, stray dogs and goats… the list could go on. I loved these things and often marveled at them (except for the funerals of course, that would be just weird), but as I grew up I couldn’t help but question if there was another Sudanese realm which I had no access to.
I wanted to know everything about everything… why did most of the neighbors splash their stinking sewer water on the street? If al-Jack was Sudanese then why does he look so different and why is he ironing our clothes, also what’s up with his name? Why does my grandmother’s face look so weird and missing a significant amount of skin, and why is her lower lip dark blue? Why are the roads filled with so much dirt? Why does the power keep going off for hours everyday? Why is having running water everyday considered a luxury? Why do random people keep asking me about my tribe? Why aren’t my female cousins allowed to wear pants? What’s that smelly black stuff my uncle rolls up in a ball and probably swallows? Why is there no air conditioning or telephones? Why is it so freaking hot?
It took me some time to figure out some of the answers, and funnily enough, a decade later I still muse about the rest…
(to be continued)
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Thursday, April 7, 2011
Breaking the silence...
Day after day and week after week, I watched in silence as you lashed out all your anger on me, pouring your feelings of hatred my way, bombarding me with sentiments of revulsion and disgust…
I watched in silence as you portrayed to the world how much I betrayed you, depicting to everyone how untrustworthy, backstabbing and conniving I am, adding your own flavor to stir the sequence of events a little…
I watched in silence as you supplicated to Allah against me, wished me death, desiring for me to break and hoping for my misery…
Day after day, I watched in silence… Convincing myself that it’s only a phase, in a few weeks it’ll pass, perhaps in a few months… but I kept the glimmer of hope in my heart, igniting it every day, despite your destructive attempts…
Day after day, I prayed to Allah to light both of our paths… and to give us the strength to overcome our ordeal… Knowing in my heart that you’re a river of forgiveness, an ocean of compassion, and will heal in just some time…
I prayed for our hearts to mend, for yours I prayed even more, knowing what I had done had hurt you so deeply.
When I thought the timing was right, I spilled out my feelings to you, trusting you will listen, trusting you will give me a sip from that river of forgiveness that I thought was your heart…
There I stood, facing you, admitting my mistake and certain you will listen, and actually really listen… but my words were in vain…
“I’m sorry I hurt you, it wasn’t my intention, people make mistakes, it wasn’t my intention.”
I can’t remember how many times I uttered these words to you, reserving that glimmer of hope in my heart, despite your continuous attempts to overshadow it, I still kept the hope…
I uttered and I uttered, I spoke and I spoke… but my speech was ever so useless, you are not the person I have known all of these years.
Word after word, I watched you dismiss me, dismiss my every thought, my every regret…
Apology after apology, you stood there with a heart even tougher than stone, rejecting every word that came out of my mouth…
Standing there in front of you, pouring my endless feelings for you… You stand there in front of me, and you are somebody else…
Who are you?
Certainly not someone I know or recognize, hardly any person I would refer to once as a friend… A best friend?
What did he do to you?
Did he drink from your river of forgiveness until he ran it dry?
Him or me?
You chose him over me, do you realize what you've done?
Does he even love you?
You say that he does, yet people in love don’t strip their lovers from happiness… they don’t take away their loved ones, their families, their friends…
Will you ever wake up?
I pray that you do, I know he had a hand in changing the you I used to know, and turning you into a new you that I don’t even recognize….
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Back in Khartoum
I love my new job, working from home is awesome.
I'm back in Sudan down, just focusing on my work and also spending a lot of time with my family and friends. I really enjoyed my time in Cairo despite the curfew, it was a breath of fresh air for me, particularly in light of everything that I have been through lately.
I realized I lost my passion for writing about politics, which was the reason I stopped blogging for a long time. Then I started thinking, I don't really have to blog about politics in particular, I can blog about my everyday life- something I was a bit conservative about in the past. I am now more open to share my experiences with my readers, especially since I have so much to write about now.
And for all you politics-lovers out there, I will make sure to comment on major or particularly interesting political events around the world.
It's refreshing to write again, I am glad I am finding more free time to do so with my new job.
Stay tuned, I have a lot to write about, I am absolutely inspired :-)
Mimz
I'm back in Sudan down, just focusing on my work and also spending a lot of time with my family and friends. I really enjoyed my time in Cairo despite the curfew, it was a breath of fresh air for me, particularly in light of everything that I have been through lately.
I realized I lost my passion for writing about politics, which was the reason I stopped blogging for a long time. Then I started thinking, I don't really have to blog about politics in particular, I can blog about my everyday life- something I was a bit conservative about in the past. I am now more open to share my experiences with my readers, especially since I have so much to write about now.
And for all you politics-lovers out there, I will make sure to comment on major or particularly interesting political events around the world.
It's refreshing to write again, I am glad I am finding more free time to do so with my new job.
Stay tuned, I have a lot to write about, I am absolutely inspired :-)
Mimz
Monday, March 2, 2009
The job hunt
I decided to start looking for a job last month. Ofcourse that was only because I went through alot of hassle getting my certificate and transcripts from the university an notarizing them; you don't even want to know and I won't even know where to begin explaining. In the end the important thing is I finally got what I worked very hard for for the past five years.
Had I known the hassle of looking for a job in this country was going to be even greater I wouldn't have bothered getting my papers in the first place. Basically, no one cares if you're carrying a First or Third Class degree, you will get hired on the spot depending on the level of your wasta.
For those of you who don't know, a wasta is the Arabic name for "mediator" i.e. someone you are acquainted with or related to who works as a minister, ambassador, general manager or could be anything. This person will make life so easy for you that all you have to do is give him a copy of your papers and tell him where you would like to work and what position you desire. You will subsequently get a magical phone call from the manager of that very place asking you to come in for an interview where you get asked questions as silly as "what color is this stapler?" Sometimes you don't even need to go in for an interview, you are just simply hired. It all comes down to the professional position of your wasta.
When I think of how eager I was to apply for jobs and go in for interviews and find a job where I could be of use, I just laugh because it seems so ridiculous now. Ofcourse you can't just apply to any job, well you can but your wasta has to make a phone call first before you send in your papers. This is the protocol of the hiring process in this country.
How are people with no wasta's supposed to get jobs? They often don't and work as cab or amjad drivers, keeping their law degrees at home for decoration. It's too damn frustrating. To think that I went to school for five years for nothing is just too unbearable... Please tell me it doesn't have to be this way!
Well I did my part and applied here and there, even went to a recruitment agency. Despite the barriers of not having a wasta, or rather not wanting to use one, finding a suitable job is hard work. At this point I am feeling so desperate to find any job at all.
How frustrating.
Had I known the hassle of looking for a job in this country was going to be even greater I wouldn't have bothered getting my papers in the first place. Basically, no one cares if you're carrying a First or Third Class degree, you will get hired on the spot depending on the level of your wasta.
For those of you who don't know, a wasta is the Arabic name for "mediator" i.e. someone you are acquainted with or related to who works as a minister, ambassador, general manager or could be anything. This person will make life so easy for you that all you have to do is give him a copy of your papers and tell him where you would like to work and what position you desire. You will subsequently get a magical phone call from the manager of that very place asking you to come in for an interview where you get asked questions as silly as "what color is this stapler?" Sometimes you don't even need to go in for an interview, you are just simply hired. It all comes down to the professional position of your wasta.
When I think of how eager I was to apply for jobs and go in for interviews and find a job where I could be of use, I just laugh because it seems so ridiculous now. Ofcourse you can't just apply to any job, well you can but your wasta has to make a phone call first before you send in your papers. This is the protocol of the hiring process in this country.
How are people with no wasta's supposed to get jobs? They often don't and work as cab or amjad drivers, keeping their law degrees at home for decoration. It's too damn frustrating. To think that I went to school for five years for nothing is just too unbearable... Please tell me it doesn't have to be this way!
Well I did my part and applied here and there, even went to a recruitment agency. Despite the barriers of not having a wasta, or rather not wanting to use one, finding a suitable job is hard work. At this point I am feeling so desperate to find any job at all.
How frustrating.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Dang! Cont'd
2008 was a rather interesting year for me. I finally reached the end of the tunnel! After graduating I was flying with joy at the thought of not having to wake up at 6 every morning, or stay up at night writing lengthy assignments, or worry about the graduation dissertation, or have to study for an exam. Yes, it was a great feeling! The first month passed, and I spent a nice vacation in the UAE. The second month I went to South Africa and had loads of fun with old friends of mine. The third month I came back to Sudan and celebrated Eid with family. The fourth month I was busy arranging a trip to Cairo to present a paper at a conference. On the fifth month was the death of my grandfather, just one day shy of the New Year. It was very unfortunate, and I spent an entire month with my grandmother to keep her company.
Today marks the seventh month after graduation… and I gotta say, I am not digging it anymore. I’ve been job hunting for what seems like an eternity, and I’m starting to dread waking up in the morning knowing I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. I decided now would be the best time to catch up on my writing. I’ve been suffering from writer’s block the past year; and I am just starting to recover from it.
I finally got the chance to revisit Egypt. This time I wasn’t able to travel to any other city, I stayed in Cairo for the entire duration of my stay-which was one week. The weather was beautiful. I also got the chance to see Cape Town for the first time, and I have to tell you, if you haven’t been yet you should hop on the first plane there!
Today marks the seventh month after graduation… and I gotta say, I am not digging it anymore. I’ve been job hunting for what seems like an eternity, and I’m starting to dread waking up in the morning knowing I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. I decided now would be the best time to catch up on my writing. I’ve been suffering from writer’s block the past year; and I am just starting to recover from it.
I finally got the chance to revisit Egypt. This time I wasn’t able to travel to any other city, I stayed in Cairo for the entire duration of my stay-which was one week. The weather was beautiful. I also got the chance to see Cape Town for the first time, and I have to tell you, if you haven’t been yet you should hop on the first plane there!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Dang!
“Dang!” doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s been almost a year and a half since I was last here. And a lot of things went down during that time. Here are just a few highlights:
1. I joined facebook.
2. There’s a global economic crisis going on and it’s on the rise.
3. Obama was elected president of the United States.
4. Israeli troops attacked Ghaza killing and injuring hundreds.
5. The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Omer El-Bashir on charges of war crimes.
6. I graduated.
7. Sami El-Haj was released from Guantanamo Bay. (I obviously have a lot of editing to do).
8. Gillian Gibbons was arrested for a “teddy bear blasphemy case” in Khartoum.
9. The rebels reached Khartoum and attacked everyone.
10. I quit facebook.
Did I mention that I finally graduated? I also joined facebook for a considerably long time, but just last night I made the decision to deactivate my account. Apparently, you can’t delete your own account. You can deactivate it, but you can reactivate it easily by logging back in. So I sent them a request to delete my account, though they haven’t done anything about it yet.
I recently discovered that there has been an economic crisis in Sudan since forever, which explains why no one can get a job without knowing someone way up the social chain. I have a lot of friends in the US and even Dubai who are extremely worried about losing their jobs. Fortunately I don’t have one to worry about in the first place.
Obama! I read in the paper last month that a Sudanese woman gave birth to a little boy and his parents named him “Barack Obama”. Sudanese people are way too fascinated by this guy. They are seriously expecting him to do something for them. I will not reveal my thoughts about him yet, maybe after he does at least 10% of the superb things that he promised he would. Guantanamo is a hell of start.
Sigh, the Ghaza conflict… 1.5 million punished for the actions of a few. Inhumane, to say the least.
El-Bashir’s arrest warrant. What a great disctraction from everything else going on in the world. And such double standards. I don’t see Bush behind any bars for sending American troops to Iraq which highly qualifies him as a war criminal. That said, I needn’t say that El-Bashir must own up to what he has been doing to innocent people in South Sudan for years and years.
I’ll be back later.
1. I joined facebook.
2. There’s a global economic crisis going on and it’s on the rise.
3. Obama was elected president of the United States.
4. Israeli troops attacked Ghaza killing and injuring hundreds.
5. The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Omer El-Bashir on charges of war crimes.
6. I graduated.
7. Sami El-Haj was released from Guantanamo Bay. (I obviously have a lot of editing to do).
8. Gillian Gibbons was arrested for a “teddy bear blasphemy case” in Khartoum.
9. The rebels reached Khartoum and attacked everyone.
10. I quit facebook.
Did I mention that I finally graduated? I also joined facebook for a considerably long time, but just last night I made the decision to deactivate my account. Apparently, you can’t delete your own account. You can deactivate it, but you can reactivate it easily by logging back in. So I sent them a request to delete my account, though they haven’t done anything about it yet.
I recently discovered that there has been an economic crisis in Sudan since forever, which explains why no one can get a job without knowing someone way up the social chain. I have a lot of friends in the US and even Dubai who are extremely worried about losing their jobs. Fortunately I don’t have one to worry about in the first place.
Obama! I read in the paper last month that a Sudanese woman gave birth to a little boy and his parents named him “Barack Obama”. Sudanese people are way too fascinated by this guy. They are seriously expecting him to do something for them. I will not reveal my thoughts about him yet, maybe after he does at least 10% of the superb things that he promised he would. Guantanamo is a hell of start.
Sigh, the Ghaza conflict… 1.5 million punished for the actions of a few. Inhumane, to say the least.
El-Bashir’s arrest warrant. What a great disctraction from everything else going on in the world. And such double standards. I don’t see Bush behind any bars for sending American troops to Iraq which highly qualifies him as a war criminal. That said, I needn’t say that El-Bashir must own up to what he has been doing to innocent people in South Sudan for years and years.
I’ll be back later.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
It's been two months!
Man, I can't believe it's been almost two months since I last wrote anything on this blog. I've been dealing with sooo much, sometimes it felt like my brain's going to explode.
In two months I went through almost everything you can name, subhanAllah.
I hope everyone's doing good, and my apologies to all my readers.. I'll be done with finals in a week and inshAllah by then I'd have enough time to post as much as I used to.
In two months I went through almost everything you can name, subhanAllah.
I hope everyone's doing good, and my apologies to all my readers.. I'll be done with finals in a week and inshAllah by then I'd have enough time to post as much as I used to.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Back!
I don't remember the last time I posted something on this blog.
Things have been pretty hectic, exams and uni life is getting to me.
But I'm back now, for a while at least! :)
Things have been pretty hectic, exams and uni life is getting to me.
But I'm back now, for a while at least! :)
Saturday, March 17, 2007
The Very Last Man
Yesterday my dad told me a story that shook me to the core..
I don't know the particular hadith, but it's about the last man on earth to enter el-Jenna (Heaven).
Imagine, the very last man on earth to be granted el-Jenna.. how bad a person could he have been in his life to be the very last one to receive Allah's forgiveness & be blessed with eternal paradise?
So the hadith says that this man (a Muslim sinner) has served his time in Hell, Allah graced him with his forgiveness. Allah allowed him to walk his way towards heaven, but under no circumstance should he ask Allah any questions (that was the condition).
So the man agrees, but he can't resist not asking.. so he asks not once, not twice but three times, and Allah answers him all three times, tolerantly.
Then the man asks Allah to permit him to stand by the door of el-Jenna! It's all he'll ever ask, and it's all he ever wants (he realizes he has broken his promise to Allah three times).
So Allah replies that he will grant him what is 10 times worth el-dunya (life).
It got me thinking, if the very last man to enter el-Jenna is released from Hell and rewarded what is worth 10 times el-dunya, how generous is Allah? & how does Allah reward those who dedicated their lives to worshipping him?
& what is el-dunya worth when everything in it is mortal?
& why are we so blind to see that el-dunya we're living now is mortal?
& that one lifetime in el-dunya does not even equal a fraction of a second in the afterlife?
Subhan Allah!
PS
If any of you knows where I can find a source for the hadith please let me know.
I don't know the particular hadith, but it's about the last man on earth to enter el-Jenna (Heaven).
Imagine, the very last man on earth to be granted el-Jenna.. how bad a person could he have been in his life to be the very last one to receive Allah's forgiveness & be blessed with eternal paradise?
So the hadith says that this man (a Muslim sinner) has served his time in Hell, Allah graced him with his forgiveness. Allah allowed him to walk his way towards heaven, but under no circumstance should he ask Allah any questions (that was the condition).
So the man agrees, but he can't resist not asking.. so he asks not once, not twice but three times, and Allah answers him all three times, tolerantly.
Then the man asks Allah to permit him to stand by the door of el-Jenna! It's all he'll ever ask, and it's all he ever wants (he realizes he has broken his promise to Allah three times).
So Allah replies that he will grant him what is 10 times worth el-dunya (life).
It got me thinking, if the very last man to enter el-Jenna is released from Hell and rewarded what is worth 10 times el-dunya, how generous is Allah? & how does Allah reward those who dedicated their lives to worshipping him?
& what is el-dunya worth when everything in it is mortal?
& why are we so blind to see that el-dunya we're living now is mortal?
& that one lifetime in el-dunya does not even equal a fraction of a second in the afterlife?
Subhan Allah!
PS
If any of you knows where I can find a source for the hadith please let me know.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Almost Done!
Hey all..
My semester break is just around the corner, thank god for that :)
I missed blogosphere!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Valentine's Day Sucks
I've always hated valentine's day.
If people want to celebrate the love they have for one another they could very much do so on any day of the week.. I don't get the point behind inventing a day where in alot of cases one of the two lovebirds feels forced to express what feelings he/she already has.
Why program someone to do something that's best done in a spontaneous fashion? I really don't get it.
On Valentine's day I was ticked off (I never said frustrated, but definitely ticked off) at the sight of all the girls wearing red to school, carrying bags with little hearts all over them.. and ughh.. the roses! What's up with selling red and white roses at universities on Valentine's day? What's happening to Khartoum? A few years ago if you as much as got caught just sitting next to someone who isn't your sibling in public you would have been in some deep trouble (sent to jail, get beaten and what not).. now everyone's holding hands in public and stuff.
I'm not bitter or anything.. I mean I love roses and hearts and bright colors and stuff, but I just hate valentine's day! I'm glad it's over, and on the 14th of February next year I'm going to be ticked off as well, and the year after.. until they decide to cancel it off the calendar.
If people want to celebrate the love they have for one another they could very much do so on any day of the week.. I don't get the point behind inventing a day where in alot of cases one of the two lovebirds feels forced to express what feelings he/she already has.
Why program someone to do something that's best done in a spontaneous fashion? I really don't get it.
On Valentine's day I was ticked off (I never said frustrated, but definitely ticked off) at the sight of all the girls wearing red to school, carrying bags with little hearts all over them.. and ughh.. the roses! What's up with selling red and white roses at universities on Valentine's day? What's happening to Khartoum? A few years ago if you as much as got caught just sitting next to someone who isn't your sibling in public you would have been in some deep trouble (sent to jail, get beaten and what not).. now everyone's holding hands in public and stuff.
I'm not bitter or anything.. I mean I love roses and hearts and bright colors and stuff, but I just hate valentine's day! I'm glad it's over, and on the 14th of February next year I'm going to be ticked off as well, and the year after.. until they decide to cancel it off the calendar.
It's Been a While
I honestly missed this place.. :)
I have to apologize for the light blogging, things have been pretty hectic on my side of the world.
I've already started my final semester exams, it's actually getting crazier by the day.. I can't wait to be done and take a long break.
So.. what's new?
Black Kush's been keeping me updated with what's going on in the world these days, and it's always interesting to read what Drima's posting about.
A warm welcome to a new Sudanese blogger, Zoya, hope you enjoy the blogosphere!
I have to apologize for the light blogging, things have been pretty hectic on my side of the world.
I've already started my final semester exams, it's actually getting crazier by the day.. I can't wait to be done and take a long break.
So.. what's new?
Black Kush's been keeping me updated with what's going on in the world these days, and it's always interesting to read what Drima's posting about.
A warm welcome to a new Sudanese blogger, Zoya, hope you enjoy the blogosphere!
Friday, February 2, 2007
My Little Cousins are into Vandalism!
Yesterday my little cousins, Badreldine and el-Amin (3 and 5) were over at our house to spend the night.
It was only me, them and my older sister in the house.. so I was keeping an eye on them almost all the time to make sure they stayed away from trouble. Finally I needed a break, so I switched on the computer for them and they started playing games.. I left them in my room & headed to the living room, where I started watching TV with my sister.
We noticed Amin holding a small glass of water, and my sister asked him what he wanted to do with that, and he told her it was for Badr.
Twenty minutes later I check on them & they're still playing computer games.. so I tell myself, okay, everything seems fine.
A few seconds after that, I hear my sister yelling and screaming, and calling my name.. FIRE!! FIIIIRE IN THE BALCONY!!!
I freaked out and ran to the balcony.. smoke was everywhere.. fire flames all over the place!!
One pot of water after the other, my sister and I finally managed to put the fire out.
The aftermath:
It was only me, them and my older sister in the house.. so I was keeping an eye on them almost all the time to make sure they stayed away from trouble. Finally I needed a break, so I switched on the computer for them and they started playing games.. I left them in my room & headed to the living room, where I started watching TV with my sister.
We noticed Amin holding a small glass of water, and my sister asked him what he wanted to do with that, and he told her it was for Badr.
Twenty minutes later I check on them & they're still playing computer games.. so I tell myself, okay, everything seems fine.
A few seconds after that, I hear my sister yelling and screaming, and calling my name.. FIRE!! FIIIIRE IN THE BALCONY!!!
I freaked out and ran to the balcony.. smoke was everywhere.. fire flames all over the place!!
One pot of water after the other, my sister and I finally managed to put the fire out.
The aftermath:
Unbelievable. I have NO idea when exactly they had the time to start a fire, those little arsonists!
Apparently, the little one got a hold on a matchbox, probably snuk to the kitchen at some point, lit a match and set the books on fire. When they noticed that the whole thing got out of control, the little one told his brother to go grab a glass of water.
So when the little devils realized that one glass of water wasn't going to do the trick, they decided to close the balcony door, which was inside my sister's room, and close the door to the room as well, return back to their computer game & leave the balcony go in flames.. as if nothing ever happened in the first place!
Thursday, February 1, 2007
A Reminder
Soon it's going to be day of Judgement, and we're all going to be lined up, waiting for our turns to be questioned on what we have done in our lives.
Most of the time we forget the fact that this dunya is temporary, and give in to the devil's persistance for us to follow the paths of temptations.
And most of time we don't like to be reminded about mortality. How many times have you switched channels or turned off the TV whenever that commercial came up where they show the guy suddenly dying infront of his computer after neglecting all of his prayers?
And how many times have we skipped the Quran channel on the radio and tuned in to our favorite music show, not even letting the reciter finish his ayah?
Yes, it's the bitter truth. We don't like to be reminded that we're all going to die one day, and we're all going to stand infront of Allah to justify the things that have been recorded by the angels on our books. Every single last detail of our lives.
We don't like to be reminded, because we like doing things that are haram. We enjoy the haram more than we do the halal.
Praying is so easy and simple, yet we manage to neglect it. The question is, is not praying 5 times a day for Allah really worth having a huge snake wrapped around our bodies after we die? "3athab el-qubr". Ignorance is such a bliss.
Subhan Allah, Allah has showered us with the blessing of our inability to hear the dead being tormented from under their graves, yet animals can. Yes, we say that if only we could hear the screams of those who are suffering from 3athab el-qubr then we would do everything the right way.
No, that's not how it goes. Our inability to hear them is a blessing because unfortunately, even though we say otherwise, even if we do we'll never change our habits. It's the way humans are.
If the day of Judgement was today, right now, and we were all summoned infront of Allah and we begged Allah to return us back to the dunya, we would still make the same mistakes. It's because humans are like that, it's how Allah created us. We have to make mistakes.
We seem to insist on doing the haram things, but did we really sit and count the blessings that Allah has generously showered us with? The answer is, no.. we tend to focus on the bad things that Allah has allowed to happen to us. Like death of someone close.. or losing fortune. It could be anything.
It's easier to be angry at Allah than to thank him.
When you're dealing with a major problem it's a test from Allah.. If you lose a dear person, and you gather all the strength, patience and courage you have to overcome your loss then your reward is a great one.
How easy is it to read a few pages from the Quran every now and then? The hasana of reading one letter is equivalent to ten.
How easy is it to spare a few minutes off our busy schedule to pray for Allah?
Below is a reminder for all of us of some 70 sins that we should avoid.
The greates sin of all: 1) Associating partners with Allaah (Shirk)
2. Committing murder
3. Performing Sorcery
4. Not performing the Prayer
5. With holding the Zaka (Charity)
6. Breaking the fast of Ramadan or not fasting in that month without a valid excuse
7. Not performing the pilgrimage when one has the ability to do so
8. Disobeying one's parents
9. Cutting off the ties of relationships
10. Committing adultery or fornication
11. Committing sodomy
12. Taking or paying interest
13. Devouring the wealth of orphans
14. Forging statements concerning Allaah or forging Hadith
15. Fleeing from the battle
16. Wrongdoing, deception or oppression on the part of the ruler
17. Being arrogant, boastful, vain
18. Giving false testimony
19. Drinking alcoholic beverages
20. Gambling
21. Slandering innocent women
22. Misappropriating something from the booty
23. Stealing
24. Committing highway robbery
25. Making false oath
26. Committing oppression
27. Levying illegal taxes
28. Consuming forbidden wealth or taking it by any means
29. Committing suicide
30. Being a perpetual liar
31. Ruling by laws other than the laws of Islam
32. Engaging in bribery
33. Women appearing like men and vice-versa
34. Being a dayyouth
Dayyouth: is the one who approves the indecency of his womenfolk and who is void of jealousy or the pimp who facilitates indecency between two people
35. Marrying for the purpose of making a woman allowable for another
36. Not keeping clean from the remains of urine
37. Acting for show
38. Acquiring knowledge only for worldly gain or concealing knowledge
39. Breaching trusts
40. Reminding people of one's kindness
41. Denying predestination
42. Eavesdropping on other's private conversation
43. Spreading harmful tales
44. Cursing others
45. Not fulfilling one's promises
46. Believing in what soothsayers & astrologers
47. A wife being rebellious to her husband
48. Putting pictures of beings with souls on clothing, curtains, rocks and any other items
49. Striking one's self, wailing, tearing one's clothing, pulling one's hair & similar deeds as a form of mourning
50. Committing injustice
51. Being overbearing or taking advantage of the weak, slaves, wives or animals
52. Harming neighbors
53. Harming and abusing Muslims
54. Wearing one's clothes too long, i.e. below the ankles
55. Harming the slaves of Allah
56. Men wearing silk & gold
57. Running away of a slave
58. Sacrificing animals for other than Allah
59. Claiming that somebody is one's father while the claimant knows it is not true
60. Arguing or quarreling for show & not seeking the truth
61. Not allowing excess water to flow to others
62. Not measuring the weights properly
63. Thinking that one is safe from Allah's planning
64. Eating carrion, blood or pork meat
65. Not praying in the congregation & praying by one's self without a valid excuse
66. Continually not performing the Friday prayers and congregational prayers without any valid excuse
67. Harming others by manipulation one's bequests
68. Being deceitful or deceptive
69. Spying on the Muslims & pointing out their secrets
70. Abusing or reviling anyone of the Companions of the Prophet (saw)
Allah is the most forgiving, and repenting sincerely requires only four simple steps:
1) Feeling bad for the sin
2) Firm commitment in intention not to repeat sin (whether it happens again is not a condition if one tried his best)
3) Make repentance to Allah by Du'a and asking or better crying for forgiveness
4) If some person has been wronged because of this sin then one needs to make up to this person.
Most of the time we forget the fact that this dunya is temporary, and give in to the devil's persistance for us to follow the paths of temptations.
And most of time we don't like to be reminded about mortality. How many times have you switched channels or turned off the TV whenever that commercial came up where they show the guy suddenly dying infront of his computer after neglecting all of his prayers?
And how many times have we skipped the Quran channel on the radio and tuned in to our favorite music show, not even letting the reciter finish his ayah?
Yes, it's the bitter truth. We don't like to be reminded that we're all going to die one day, and we're all going to stand infront of Allah to justify the things that have been recorded by the angels on our books. Every single last detail of our lives.
We don't like to be reminded, because we like doing things that are haram. We enjoy the haram more than we do the halal.
Praying is so easy and simple, yet we manage to neglect it. The question is, is not praying 5 times a day for Allah really worth having a huge snake wrapped around our bodies after we die? "3athab el-qubr". Ignorance is such a bliss.
Subhan Allah, Allah has showered us with the blessing of our inability to hear the dead being tormented from under their graves, yet animals can. Yes, we say that if only we could hear the screams of those who are suffering from 3athab el-qubr then we would do everything the right way.
No, that's not how it goes. Our inability to hear them is a blessing because unfortunately, even though we say otherwise, even if we do we'll never change our habits. It's the way humans are.
If the day of Judgement was today, right now, and we were all summoned infront of Allah and we begged Allah to return us back to the dunya, we would still make the same mistakes. It's because humans are like that, it's how Allah created us. We have to make mistakes.
We seem to insist on doing the haram things, but did we really sit and count the blessings that Allah has generously showered us with? The answer is, no.. we tend to focus on the bad things that Allah has allowed to happen to us. Like death of someone close.. or losing fortune. It could be anything.
It's easier to be angry at Allah than to thank him.
When you're dealing with a major problem it's a test from Allah.. If you lose a dear person, and you gather all the strength, patience and courage you have to overcome your loss then your reward is a great one.
How easy is it to read a few pages from the Quran every now and then? The hasana of reading one letter is equivalent to ten.
How easy is it to spare a few minutes off our busy schedule to pray for Allah?
Below is a reminder for all of us of some 70 sins that we should avoid.
The greates sin of all: 1) Associating partners with Allaah (Shirk)
2. Committing murder
3. Performing Sorcery
4. Not performing the Prayer
5. With holding the Zaka (Charity)
6. Breaking the fast of Ramadan or not fasting in that month without a valid excuse
7. Not performing the pilgrimage when one has the ability to do so
8. Disobeying one's parents
9. Cutting off the ties of relationships
10. Committing adultery or fornication
11. Committing sodomy
12. Taking or paying interest
13. Devouring the wealth of orphans
14. Forging statements concerning Allaah or forging Hadith
15. Fleeing from the battle
16. Wrongdoing, deception or oppression on the part of the ruler
17. Being arrogant, boastful, vain
18. Giving false testimony
19. Drinking alcoholic beverages
20. Gambling
21. Slandering innocent women
22. Misappropriating something from the booty
23. Stealing
24. Committing highway robbery
25. Making false oath
26. Committing oppression
27. Levying illegal taxes
28. Consuming forbidden wealth or taking it by any means
29. Committing suicide
30. Being a perpetual liar
31. Ruling by laws other than the laws of Islam
32. Engaging in bribery
33. Women appearing like men and vice-versa
34. Being a dayyouth
Dayyouth: is the one who approves the indecency of his womenfolk and who is void of jealousy or the pimp who facilitates indecency between two people
35. Marrying for the purpose of making a woman allowable for another
36. Not keeping clean from the remains of urine
37. Acting for show
38. Acquiring knowledge only for worldly gain or concealing knowledge
39. Breaching trusts
40. Reminding people of one's kindness
41. Denying predestination
42. Eavesdropping on other's private conversation
43. Spreading harmful tales
44. Cursing others
45. Not fulfilling one's promises
46. Believing in what soothsayers & astrologers
47. A wife being rebellious to her husband
48. Putting pictures of beings with souls on clothing, curtains, rocks and any other items
49. Striking one's self, wailing, tearing one's clothing, pulling one's hair & similar deeds as a form of mourning
50. Committing injustice
51. Being overbearing or taking advantage of the weak, slaves, wives or animals
52. Harming neighbors
53. Harming and abusing Muslims
54. Wearing one's clothes too long, i.e. below the ankles
55. Harming the slaves of Allah
56. Men wearing silk & gold
57. Running away of a slave
58. Sacrificing animals for other than Allah
59. Claiming that somebody is one's father while the claimant knows it is not true
60. Arguing or quarreling for show & not seeking the truth
61. Not allowing excess water to flow to others
62. Not measuring the weights properly
63. Thinking that one is safe from Allah's planning
64. Eating carrion, blood or pork meat
65. Not praying in the congregation & praying by one's self without a valid excuse
66. Continually not performing the Friday prayers and congregational prayers without any valid excuse
67. Harming others by manipulation one's bequests
68. Being deceitful or deceptive
69. Spying on the Muslims & pointing out their secrets
70. Abusing or reviling anyone of the Companions of the Prophet (saw)
Allah is the most forgiving, and repenting sincerely requires only four simple steps:
1) Feeling bad for the sin
2) Firm commitment in intention not to repeat sin (whether it happens again is not a condition if one tried his best)
3) Make repentance to Allah by Du'a and asking or better crying for forgiveness
4) If some person has been wronged because of this sin then one needs to make up to this person.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Stress
I feel 70.
Seriously.. there's too much stress in my life right now it's just unbearable.
Six days per week full of lectures, assignments, classworks, tests, researches, pop quizzes, field trips, homeworks and tutorials to name a few.
The seventh day is a day spent studying for the test the next day.
I can't blog or even surf the net very often for that matter. Plus, I have a severe case of writer's block.
Some of my female colleagues crack me up when they complain about the routine and decide that the only way out of this whole thing is -no, not graduating & earning a college degree- but actually getting married to a guy who's filthy rich (even if he's the age of my grandfather) OR a guy in possession of an American citizenship.. He doesn't have to be well mannered, educated or have a good personality. He doesn't have to be a businessman, a doctor or an engineer. He just have to have an American citizenship!!
Yeah, I remember this story about this Sudanese girl my family knows. This Sudanese American guy, whom she has never seen before in her life, and who was at the time still in the States, has asked his mother to find him a bride 'cause he was coming home soon to get married (and yeah, what's up with guys doing that?)
Anywho.. his mom picked (yes literally picked) this specific girl for him. And the minute the girl heard the words 'lives in America' she approved immediately, and by the way she hasn't seen him yet.
So a few months later, the bride is all set for her wedding.. the groom arrives and she finally sees him. I don't know whether he was okay looking or not, but anyway they carry on with their wedding preparations.
Later on she discovers he's a pizza delivery guy. Not that there's anything wrong with being one, just the fact that the girl was shocked since it's common for people like her to think that Sudanese Americans are loaded & living THE life. So the gold digger is sentenced to live with him for the rest of her life, since divorce in Sudan is a taboo & unthinkable, and her family would feel ashamed and might even disown her.
Heeehehe. I guess I deviated a little bit. But ranting is always good :)
Seriously.. there's too much stress in my life right now it's just unbearable.
Six days per week full of lectures, assignments, classworks, tests, researches, pop quizzes, field trips, homeworks and tutorials to name a few.
The seventh day is a day spent studying for the test the next day.
I can't blog or even surf the net very often for that matter. Plus, I have a severe case of writer's block.
Some of my female colleagues crack me up when they complain about the routine and decide that the only way out of this whole thing is -no, not graduating & earning a college degree- but actually getting married to a guy who's filthy rich (even if he's the age of my grandfather) OR a guy in possession of an American citizenship.. He doesn't have to be well mannered, educated or have a good personality. He doesn't have to be a businessman, a doctor or an engineer. He just have to have an American citizenship!!
Yeah, I remember this story about this Sudanese girl my family knows. This Sudanese American guy, whom she has never seen before in her life, and who was at the time still in the States, has asked his mother to find him a bride 'cause he was coming home soon to get married (and yeah, what's up with guys doing that?)
Anywho.. his mom picked (yes literally picked) this specific girl for him. And the minute the girl heard the words 'lives in America' she approved immediately, and by the way she hasn't seen him yet.
So a few months later, the bride is all set for her wedding.. the groom arrives and she finally sees him. I don't know whether he was okay looking or not, but anyway they carry on with their wedding preparations.
Later on she discovers he's a pizza delivery guy. Not that there's anything wrong with being one, just the fact that the girl was shocked since it's common for people like her to think that Sudanese Americans are loaded & living THE life. So the gold digger is sentenced to live with him for the rest of her life, since divorce in Sudan is a taboo & unthinkable, and her family would feel ashamed and might even disown her.
Heeehehe. I guess I deviated a little bit. But ranting is always good :)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
It Happens Again
Guess what..
I had to go to school today on yet another announced official holiday.
I hate my life.. *sigh*
Happy New Hijra Year everyone.
I had to go to school today on yet another announced official holiday.
I hate my life.. *sigh*
Happy New Hijra Year everyone.
Friday, January 19, 2007
I'm Back... for a while
I missed this place!
Things have been extremely hectic for me this past week, and will be for at least the coming week as well.
At school we're taking this 'intensive course' for 2 weeks, we should be covering two subjects in those 2 weeks. So yeah, the whole schedule from 8-3 every single day is composed of these 2 subjects. Every single friggin day.
Seriously, how is someone supposed to comprehend two entire courses in a period of 2 weeks? I have no idea.. it's only making everyone stressed out to their brains.
It's all because the college has flown in these two professors from Syria to teach those subjects, since the subjects are entirely new to the Sudanese world & there are no current professors who can teach them in Sudan.
Oh well.. One more week left!
Things have been extremely hectic for me this past week, and will be for at least the coming week as well.
At school we're taking this 'intensive course' for 2 weeks, we should be covering two subjects in those 2 weeks. So yeah, the whole schedule from 8-3 every single day is composed of these 2 subjects. Every single friggin day.
Seriously, how is someone supposed to comprehend two entire courses in a period of 2 weeks? I have no idea.. it's only making everyone stressed out to their brains.
It's all because the college has flown in these two professors from Syria to teach those subjects, since the subjects are entirely new to the Sudanese world & there are no current professors who can teach them in Sudan.
Oh well.. One more week left!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Happy Peace Day
Today is the anniversary of the signing of the CPA.
The whole country took the day off as an official holiday (except my university, we were the only ones working today, attending lectures normally as though we live in a separate island or something).
The whole country took the day off as an official holiday (except my university, we were the only ones working today, attending lectures normally as though we live in a separate island or something).
Friday, January 5, 2007
Depressed, Disgusted & Disturbed
It's almost 4 am and I'm still up.
Why? Because I can't sleep.
Why? Because I've been looking at disturbing pictures over the internet all morning.
Why? Because I thought I could handle it.
Apparently, I can't handle it.
It will probably take me some time to get these images off my head. I'm already feeling shaken (for 2 days now), thanks to youtube for featuring Saddam's full execution.
It wasn't intentional, I was googling the web and I came across this website that had some really graphic photos of Abu Ghraib prisoners as well as the bodies of Qusai and Uday Hussein.
They were horrible photos.. I wish I never saw them.
I've been watching cartoons & sitcoms ever since, but I still can't chase the memory of these pictures off my head.
And then I thought.. okay, I'll -image- google Khartoum.. my beautiful city.. & then I'll create a folder and save some cool pictures of Khartoum, maybe add some on my blog.
And what do I find?.. a picture of a urinal.
Yes, a urinal.
It was the nastiest thing I have seen since 2006.
Did you know there was a website for urinals? They have a top 10 and everything. And there's commentary section as well.
And the urinal I saw (unfortunately) was the one at Khartoum International Airport.
That's what happens when you have too much time in your hands.
PS - I'm not adding any links. If you're interested in looking at urinals, image google "Khartoum".
Why? Because I can't sleep.
Why? Because I've been looking at disturbing pictures over the internet all morning.
Why? Because I thought I could handle it.
Apparently, I can't handle it.
It will probably take me some time to get these images off my head. I'm already feeling shaken (for 2 days now), thanks to youtube for featuring Saddam's full execution.
It wasn't intentional, I was googling the web and I came across this website that had some really graphic photos of Abu Ghraib prisoners as well as the bodies of Qusai and Uday Hussein.
They were horrible photos.. I wish I never saw them.
I've been watching cartoons & sitcoms ever since, but I still can't chase the memory of these pictures off my head.
And then I thought.. okay, I'll -image- google Khartoum.. my beautiful city.. & then I'll create a folder and save some cool pictures of Khartoum, maybe add some on my blog.
And what do I find?.. a picture of a urinal.
Yes, a urinal.
It was the nastiest thing I have seen since 2006.
Did you know there was a website for urinals? They have a top 10 and everything. And there's commentary section as well.
And the urinal I saw (unfortunately) was the one at Khartoum International Airport.
That's what happens when you have too much time in your hands.
PS - I'm not adding any links. If you're interested in looking at urinals, image google "Khartoum".
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