Sudan, I love you.. but you're taking a toll on me [3]

During my student years, I came to learn so much about the do’s and dont’s of Sudanese culture, the customs and traditions, the taboos. I found so many things fascinating, others inexplicable... weddings and funerals perplexed me the most.

Why a bride had to take a sip of milk only to squirt it on her groom’s face while dressed in a dazzling red toab, sporting gold pharaoh-like accessories with too many women to count chanting and spraying the bride and groom with a powerful choke-inducing fragrance and diffusing the area with piquant frankincense baffled me.

And why women arrive at funerals with freshly-painted henna on their hands and feet, wearing the most kaleidoscopic toab in their wardrobe, and others conveniently schedule their condolence visitations with meal times, expecting the family of the deceased to serve them food and flavored tea, with some neighbors and distant relatives wailing, screeching and rolling on the floor theatrically in the background and others creating low-frequency ‘eee’ noises in an attempt to express their fake sympathy bemused me as well.

Perhaps what amazed me the most was the widespread sihir (black magic/witchcraft) phenomenon. During my first semester in university, a sheikh came in to give a lecture (I had no idea what it was about but attended anyway). He started off by addressing the large existence of sihir in our community, after which he began reciting a few verses of the Quran. To my astonishment, almost a quarter of the students in the lecture room (mind you it was a spacious room) began screaming, crying, and others laughing… it was weird, and scary. [I later on learned that those who reacted weirdly when the sihir verses were recited were possessed. Needless to say I memorized their faces and made minimal contact with them until graduation. An awkward five years it was.]

Not to scare you with the details, because they actually are pretty scary, but after some time had passed and I had witnessed a series of bizarre events I started believing in this stuff. If you’ve lived in Sudan for some time, you know what I’m talking about. Many cultures (and religions) including the Sudanese, know the ain (evil/envious eye) the mas (satanic possession) and the sihir to exist. I have heard one too many stories on each of the three, many of them if I may add were a tad exaggerated. But yeah, after my incredible fright had been lifted I started attending exorcism sessions with friends and family members where some weird s*** took place. [Those of you who don’t know this, there’s a sheikh/exorcist clinic, for lack of a better word, at every corner in the streets of Khartoum. Some of them are legit and their treatment involves reciting Quran, and others are dajjaleen (fake sheikhs/fake exorcists) who ask you to pronounce a bunch of words backwards, wear odd talismans, place pieces of paper with matrices and unidentified letters on them in weird places and make you sniff some unusual incents.]

So apparently it’s a trend to get sihir done on someone these days (okay these practices date way back) if you hate them, or even love them. There’s the local dajjal who, for a little bit of money, will help you marry that girl you’ve always had a crush on but never gave you the time of day. And that girl you’ve always been envious of, you know, the one with the perfect hair and the perfect boyfriend and the perfect grades. If you’re tired of seeing her lead her perfect little life, you can visit your local dajjal and bring it to an end. [I may be using sarcasm but I’m serious about these things happening, but more on 'black magic in Sudan' later, will be dedicating a whole blog post for that soon. Follow my blog you won't regret it, I will post some very interesting stories that may render you too freaked out to sleep at night.]

Anyway.

Even though I hate so many things that exist in Sudan, such as unnecessary funeral traditions that involve wailing, overspending in weddings, smelly black stuff and weak-hearted people who like to harm others using dajal, there’s still so much more to Sudan to be absolutely adored. Sure, each culture has its flaws, Sudan included… but you can’t deny the awesomeness of Sudan (especially when the weather’s under 50 degrees).

I love how we are so hospitable, to a disgusting degree sometimes... I love that our people always come together, even if it’s usually over a plate of fool (large amount of sesame oil served with cooked beans, some onions/tomatoes and a hint of feta cheese) which we love so much… I love that when it’s cloudy outside every leap year we pretend like we live in Paris… I love that we have traditions that no other country does, such as dipping drinking cups in a bucket and scooping some aradaib juice on a Ramadan eve and adding four spoons of sugar to a tiny-sized cup of tea… Most importantly, I love Bish Bish and his sweet dance moves.

So don’t bother yourself with the ugly things, such as sandstorms that render your house and ears dust-ridden, smelly black stuff spat out on every street corner, strangers who cost you two hours of your time because their manhood won't allow them to say 'I don't know' when asked for directions, that relative who only visits during lunch time, your president embarrassing you in front of other nations, that neighbor who wakes you up every morning to mooch off some tea/sugar/milk/you name it, that Egyptian guy who always asks you why Sudanese people are so lazy, your president embarrassing you in front of other nations, the price of meat going up so you switch to fish, the price of oil going up so you can't have fish because boiled fish is gross and instead switch to yogurt with bread, the price of bread going up so you only eat yogurt, the price of oxygen rising by 30% so you hold your breath 30% of the day, your country dividing into two, that old lady who always nags you to get married, sugar-free tea, oil-less fool, your president embarrassing you in front of other nations, hideous overpriced furniture, Sudanese state television. Instead, embrace the beauty that is Sudan, embrace your Sudani-ness... Give a laidback smile and ask that Egyptian guy why his country doesn't have a dancing president (or a president at all).. :)

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